My style has developed so much over the last decade. I have loved fashion since I was a little girl and so experimenting with fashion was always part of me. I have always loved my style at any given time and when I look back on old photos I think “not too bad” for what I had and who I was back then.
Sometimes other people’s opinions and our own insecurities cause obstructions on our journey to discover our own style
But there was a time when I did not embrace my own creative style. I copied others because of all kinds of insecurities or comments about my own style choices. I didn’t look bad by playing copy cat, but it didn’t entirely suit my personality or age at the time or even more importantly my body type. It took me the long way around to discovering my own style.
I can just shake my head at my insecure 20 something self. So many thoughts & fears obstructed me from getting to know my true style and eventually dressing right for my personalty and body type. It resulted in years of dressing awkwardly and feeling uncomfortable and insecure and not myself. Buying wrong and shopping irresponsibly with no purpose. Wasting money on things that weren’t really me and hurting the planet with my loads and loads of unwanted impulse buys.
Now that I am older and wiser and have worked though my style obstructions, I dress better. I shop more responsibly. I wear things more than once (sometimes a few days in a row shhhh!) and I can spot if something I buy from a fast fashion store is worth it or will it also go on the donate pile at the end of the season.
What do I mean by style obstructions ?
Style obstructions are those things that keep us from discovering and developing our own style and even changing our style for the better. Some of us just got stuck in this place where we sort of want to change our style but there are those thoughts and fears that hold us back. Those are the style obstructions.
The most common style obstructions are:
1. Don’t feel good enough to be myself and to work on a unique, personal style.
The mindset is that if you copy others you will be more popular and feel better about yourself. Not so! Finding your unique style will boost your confidence and make you feel more comfortable.
I always encourage my clients to dress right for their body, but still feel comfortable. Because when you feel uncomfortable you self confidence goes out of the door. This is why it is important to find out what your style type is. There is nothing inherently wrong with copying someone else, but what they wear might not look great on you. Why? Because you are not the same body type.
2. Feeling ashamed of or dissatisfied with my body.
Thinking you are too this or that to do anything about your style now and you will rather put it off till you have achieved some far away goal. This is B.S. You can and should work with what you have now and look fabulous and stylish just by getting to know what works best for your body the way it is now.
Yes you need to look after your health and following a healthy diet and exercise is important. But your mental health and loving yourself is the place to start. The thing is that we have to actually make the decision to love ourselves enough to do things for ourselves that are good for us.
3. Broke – have no money to work on my style
This is also a huge myth. How often do you run into the store to get this or that and add a top here and some bottoms there. Cheap items you don’t wear and regret the impulse purchase. Your cheap purchases add up and you sit with an overfull wardrobe with nothing to wear. Add all of these small cheap purchases together and you will find that you actually can afford style.
Ps. style does not mean you need the latest brands that are in fashion for 5 minutes and then there is something else. This is called trendy not style. And you can also be trendy without the latest Gucci belt btw.
4. I’m not stylish, never was and never will be.
Absolutely not true. All you need is some guidance to work through your style obstructions and get to know your body and body type to start dressing for your body type. This is how you can develop the style you already have.
5. People will think I am ridiculous if I change my style.
No, you give people to much credit … they won’t think a thing. They might be a little jelly or even intimated by your change, but unless you show up in a clown suit or in anything Lady Gaga would wear you will not be perceived as ridic.
6. I will be out of my comfort zone.
This could be true if your comfort zone is to be the same as everyone else. Or if you comfort zone is to be invisible. But actually when you discover what your own style is and what suits your body type you will look in the mirror and love your look. You will feel confident and comfortable.
7. Don’t know where to start or how to change
This is a tricky one that many people struggle with. This is why we need experts. People with the training and experience to help us.
Find a stylist that works with your budget and once and for all get to know your style and body type. This will help you getting dressed for the rest of your life.
8. I know I don’t look great but I don’t care, I like my style.
Good for you! If you are comfortable with your style and happy with the way you look that is of course a plus. But are you really? Or is it just your comfort zone ? Are you missing out on job opportunities, love opportunities, all other opportunities because you are invisible due to not caring about your style?
Truth bomb! People who make an effort with their appearance are much more likely to be taken seriously than those who come with the great qualifications and experience, but dress down. Not saying this is right, but it’s the way it is. In this world outer appearance is so important. Making an effort with your appearance is an unspoken language that you will make an effort with the job and that you will represent the business or company as it wants to be perceived. Of course if you are going to sell weed then maybe your comfortable clothes made from hemp work just fine.
9. I don’t have the time
You don’t have the time to look after you? Making time for your own improvement is essential. Reading and podcasts are great for self-improvement, but what about your appearance, the first thing others see? Unfortunately the thing others judge you on. The one thing that can make or break you getting a promotion or opportunity. Plus once you know your own ideal style, it takes the same or even less time to shop for clothes and get dressed than you do now.
In this digital world you can pass the things you need but don’t have the skill or the time for over to a professional. Without taking up too much of your time. So I don’t have time is no longer an excuse. Anyway you deserve to take some time out for yourself btw.
Want to work through your style obstructions with me and get to know how to dress for your body type ? Check out my SERVICES & let’s work on your unique personal style.
